Saturday, February 14, 2009

Warning--This Post Has an Agenda

I'm wondering, when exactly did the word "agenda" get co-opted by those on the front lines of the culture of fear to have such a negative and sinister connotation?

a⋅gen⋅da

–noun, formally a plural of. agendum, but usually used as a singular with plural. -das or -da. a list, plan, outline, or the like, of things to be done, matters to be acted or voted upon, etc.: The chairman says we have a lengthy agenda this afternoon.

Pop quiz--which of the following social or political groups has a social agenda?

a) the gays
b) the Christians
c) Planned Parenthood
d) Right-to-Lifers

Ummm. Don't they all (and, more to the point, we all) have an agenda?

I found myself today thinking about this imaginary conversation. Like most satire, if it is funny, it is because it is not that exaggerated from how people act and think now:

Pilate: So, Jesus, is it not a fact that you are trying to influence people in order to advance your secret Jewish agenda?

Jesus: Well, I am Jewish...and I do have a list of things that I would like to be done...I'm not sure how secret it i....

Pilate: Aha! And I suppose you are going to deny that this agenda has been influenced by the carpenter's guild? I see that shave hook in your tool belt!


FOUND AMONG MOTHER TERESA'S PAPERS AFTER HER DEATH:

Top Secret Agenda:
(Destroy before letting fall into wrong hands)
a) Feed the hungry.
b) Care for the sick.
c) Repeat as necessary.

Perhaps this can become a running gag in this blog...like Mad magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions." I can call it "Secret Agendas of Famous People."

Found in George Washington's grade School Notebook:
a) Lead revolt against Britan.
b) Become first president of backwater confederation of states.
c) Get face carved on big mountain.

Ah, if only his teacher had taken this seriously...we would all be singing "God Save the Queen" right now.

1 comment:

Michial said...

I saw this somewhere:

GAY AGENDA
- Wake up
- Be fabulous
- Watch "Sex and the City"
- Undermine Western civilization