Friday, December 05, 2008

Wanted Rant

Here are the opening intertitles for Wanted:

A THOUSAND YEARS AGO...

A CLAN OF WEAVERS FORMED A SECRET SOCIETY OF ASSASSINS.

THEY SILENTLY CARRIED OUT EXECUTIONS TO RESTORE ORDER TO A WORLD ON THE BRINK OF CHAOS.

THEY CALLED THEMSELVES THE FRATERNITY.

SIX WEEKS AGO...

Now I forget if it was Siskel or Ebert who said one key test of a film is whether or not its plot sounded more or less interesting than a documentary of its actors having lunch. I would certianly say another is whether or not the plot was formed by MadLibs (TM).

Try picking a friend at random and asking them to play MadLibs and then see if your movie premise sounds more or less the same or even better than Wanted's:


A __Number__ OF YEARS AGO...

A CLAN OF ___Profession (Plural)__ FORMED A SECRET SOCIETY OF __Dungeon's and Dragons Character Type__.

THEY __Adverb__ CARRIED OUT __Nominal__ (Verb in Noun form) TO RESTORE ORDER TO A WORLD ON THE BRINK OF CHAOS.

THEY CALLED THEMSELVES THE __Type of Group or Organization___.

__Number___ WEEKS AGO...

6 comments:

Kenneth R. Morefield said...

My first attempt at the experiment went something like this:

FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO...

A CLAN OF NASCAR DRIVERS FORMED A SECRET SOCIETY OF CLERICS.

THEY INADVERTENTLY CARRIED OUT LOBOTOMIES TO RESTORE ORDER TO A WORLD ON THE BRINK OF CHAOS.

THEY CALLED THEMSELVES THE LAKER GIRLS.

FIFTY-EIGHT WEEKS AGO...
*****************************

Now, I have to say...doesn't my movie sound more entertaining?

T.C. Truffin said...

I almost snorted coffee through my nose.

And, yes, your film sounds more interesting, but does it feature a slinky Angelina Jolie slinking about in slinky dresses shooting slinky bullets at slinking stinkers?

Kenneth R. Morefield said...

Does it?

Didn't you read the part about them calling themselves "Laker Girls"?

elrambo said...

I love MadLibs.

Millions OF YEARS AGO...

A CLAN OF cave sloths FORMED A SECRET SOCIETY OF wizards.

THEY stealthily CARRIED OUT weddings TO RESTORE ORDER TO A WORLD ON THE BRINK OF CHAOS.

THEY CALLED THEMSELVES THE Wedding Sleepers.

peter and donna said...

Here's our movie, Ken, with me asking Donna for the cues without her knowing what they were being plugged into:

THREE YEARS AGO...

A CLAN OF DOCTORS FORMED A SECRET SOCIETY OF WIZARDS.

THEY CAREFULLY CARRIED OUT SWIMMING TO RESTORE ORDER TO A WORLD ON THE BRINK OF CHAOS.

THEY CALLED THEMSELVES THE KIWANIS.
SEVEN WEEKS AGO...

Kenneth R. Morefield said...

Restoring order through swimming. Wasn't that a short story by John Cheever?